Time to take a break how to#

'Breaks must be done with clear rules and for the right reasons,' says Spector. So, when should I take a break in a relationship?

Does one person depend on the other financially? Are there kids in the picture? Is this a long-distance relationship? The nitty-gritty makes all the difference and must be *seriously* considered beforehand or else the break might just turn into a break up. The way you carve out time away from your partner totally depends on the kind of the relationship you’re in. In Spector’s experience, couples usually realize it is.īut remember: Relationship breaks are not one-size-fits-all (because that would just be too easy). Breaks allow couples to see the partnership from a new perspective, acknowledge personal doubts and wrongdoings, determine changes that need to be made (like perhaps one person is putting in more effort than the other), and then decide if the relationship is worth continuing. You might also decide to get back together.Īnd although separation is much easier said than done, it’s essential to what Spector calls a 'relationship renovation,' or a chance to break unhealthy patterns. Yes, it could lead to a full-on breakup or even divorce, but only if that's what you decide you want. Then-and only then-can you determine which is better. to take a significant amount of time to weigh how you feel being separated versus how you feel together.

Time to take a break how to#

Here's How To Set Boundaries In Your Relationshipīreaks are for partners who care about each other, but can’t see eye-to-eye for some reason.Attaching yourself to another person-while it might work for some-can be the perfect setup for a toxic relationship down the road, especially if there are disagreements you can’t seem to let go of. 'So many couples think a healthy relationship means being together all the time, but that’s not true,' says Spector. Wait, what exactly is a relationship break?įYI: Taking a break is a temporary chance for people in a relationship to explore what not being together feels like, spend time on personal growth, and look at their relationship from a distance. But if you want more information on breaks, how to handle one in the best way possible, what boundaries to set, and more, this relationship expert-informed guide will help you navigate uncharted territory in your relationship: Ideally, this break is just that: a break. 'It’s just a designated amount of time where both people are consenting to limited communication.' Basically, if the concept of a break is stressing you out, know that it doesn’t have to be overcomplicated, your relationship can remain exclusive and, most importantly, there’s an end date. It's more likely that a break sparked by conflict will lead to a breakup if the conflicted couple doesn't do the work needed to ensure they can come back to a better relationship.Remember, though: 'Taking a break doesn’t mean it’s the end of a relationship,' explains Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in Honolulu. These offenses may prompt one partner to initiate the time apart regardless of the other partner's wishes. It's likely that emotional injuries may have occurred from betrayal, toxic communication, or inconsistent efforts. In less ideal situations where partners find themselves at extreme odds with each other, taking a break can closely resemble an adult 'timeout.' Hurt or frustrated partners retire to their respective corners in hopes of examining their behavior and resolving to make changes to the relationship or simply move on from it.

Couples in scenarios like this one experience a sense of security because their trust is usually intact before the break begins. Assuming there's been no serious emotional damage inflicted by either partner, the couple can rest on their solid foundation and feel a level of confidence that the relationship will resume as soon as reconnection is possible. This type of break does not normally lead to a breakup. The break could be prompted by forced or voluntary geographic distance, temporarily increased responsibilities at work or with family that would make it difficult to maintain the normal rhythm of the relationship, or needed time for introspection and self-care. The best-case break scenario is created when two committed partners mutually agree to pause their relationship for the benefit of one or both parties.